Monet? Van Gogh? Banzai, Clueless!!!!


So I was reading the local paper. Just so you know, I have 3 local papers: TC Tubantia, The Orlando Sentinel, and the unsinkable Bucks County Courier Times.

I check the BCCT online every day to see if anyone from my hometown has passed away, to monitor the height of the Delaware River, to make sure that the Prince of Darkness is not in any trouble and to see what I’m missing in local entertainment and fine dining. Sometimes I read an article or two. Today this header, from sister paper, The Intelligencer, caught my eye:

Hatfield woman’s ungratefulness over Christmas gifts draws prison stint

Crimes of grammar aside (when did ungratefulness replace ingratitude?), I was intrigued.

It turns out that a 52 year-old Hatfield woman, expecting some bling for Christmas was unpleasantly surprised by her husband’s gift, which turned out to be a Monet repro art tile and a bonsai tree. Such was her indignation that she went for his ear with a butcher knife, managing to slice the poor man’s lug badly, but leaving it attached to his head. They’ve since parted ways but nobody died.

To a degree, I can sympathize. Really dude? How clueless can you be? But stabbing my husband over a poorly chosen gift would be taking things to a level of violence that finds me distinctly uncomfortable.

Still, I don’t understand the feeling of entitlement this woman seems to possess. There are times when you have to accept that the only one who’s going to provide you with bling is you. Smile, take the fake-art tile and tree and regift it to your husband as a housewarming present after you’ve thrown him out.

My darling spouse of 25 years standing looked up from his iPad and said, “I could see you doing that.”

I used to think that the clever and delightful gifts Vince gives me were tokens of adoration. Maybe it’s less adoration and more the fear of a low-rent apartment, an empty fridge and only a sad little bonsai for company.

* For fun read the comments after the newspaper article– priceless!

** Crossposted from my  primary blog :


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